It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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