Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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