the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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