Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
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Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You're my little dorito
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
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