You're completely useless in the revolution.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
