i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize