so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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