Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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