garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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