Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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