i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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