Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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