my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
