I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
