Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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