You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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