But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
