oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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