yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
