yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
