Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
