wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize