this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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