I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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