My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
