please come you make the beer taste better
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
