For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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