I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
