this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
