If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
