I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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