you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize