so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
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