Betty ford says i'm here all night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize