dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
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What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
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I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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