What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
birth control should be required to get into college
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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