you would pick up someone in the library
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize