My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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