Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
