How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
