I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
