Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
