i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
