im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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