She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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