Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
