the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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