Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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