In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
