"it" just moved
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
