sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize