What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
