i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
