she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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