I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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