The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
