My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
