talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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