You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
