well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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