dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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