one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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