Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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