??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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