Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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