birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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